By Sad Girl Says
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When I left the hospital the next morning, the first place I went to was Ibrahim’s house.
‘How do you feel bro?’ He asked me, looking into my eyes.
‘Very weak to be honest, but I thank God.’ I said, ‘and thanks fam, for the gifts you sent and the tweets.’
‘No P bro,’ Ibrahim said, ‘Lol, those tweets. You know people still saying “get well soon Nate”. Even people that don’t know you! I pity your mentions!’
‘Lol. :(( ikrr.’ I said. I still couldn’t believe that I trended on twitter. Like, seriously??? Mehhn, my friends are bad asses B-)
‘:* you’re welcome bro’ Ibrahim said.
‘:** ‘I said, ‘but Yasmine though.’
‘I wasn’t even going to say anything,’ Ibrahim said, ‘sheyy last time I was telling you. You gave me bestie mode.’
‘Lol, you know what happened at #DOPE2?’ I said.
‘Guy, gist spreads. People started asking why you fainted.’
‘Oh? :$’ I said, ‘it’s fucked up bro. I don’t even know anything anymore.’
‘And when I was telling you to put her in her place, you were giving me crap. “Ehhn, she’s not a hoe”. Tuehh!’
‘*sigh. But even with everything, I still wouldn’t say she’s a hoe…’
‘Is it, because you are blind, or dumb, or ignorant? or all of the above 3 -|’
‘( ˘̶̀ ̯˘̶́) ‘ I said, ‘it’s complicated bro.’
‘Cut gist’ Ibrahim said.
‘Idiattt.’ I said, ‘and then Jesse & Nathan, I don’t know, all I wanted was to bring them back together. Now I really don’t care about their existence.’
‘You guys would still get back though. You’re bros…’
‘I doubt.’ I said.
‘*sigh. It’s all good Nate,’ he said, patting my shoulder.
‘Sorry about not coming first at the show,’ I said.
‘Ehn? Oh that thing. It didn’t pain me because Fusion and DKNG had better designs to be honest,’ Ibrahim said, ‘especially DKNG.’
‘Yeah, I guess.’
‘And the DKNG head designer ♥_♥’ Ibrahim said, ‘very fuckable someborry.’
‘Lol, Fuckable? Guy, pause your game on that.’
‘Never mind, Happy fucking.’ I said, a slight smirk creeping on my face.
‘:s :s. you’re dim,’ Ibrahim said, ‘I’m going to the basement in a bit. Are you coming?’
‘Really? Coming from the hospital?’
‘Noo, you don’t have to play ball, you could just come and chill. Ovoke and co would be happy to see you.’
I considered. ‘Naa, I’ll just watch TV small then head home.’
I watched a few episodes of season 6 of How I Met Your Mother from the cd’s Iffy bought me. And then I watched Tom & Jerry. It made me actually laugh out loud. 🙂
I left Ibrahim’s house and went to go see Damii. I had to break up with her, it was the right thing to do. Not like I’m a good guy or anything, but I really love this girl and I couldn’t just do it anymore.
I didn’t even use my normal break-up lines with her. All the “we have to move on” and “it’s not you, it’s me.” Lol, that last one was always my favorite. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not good enough for you”. Na so!!!! If it’s me with the problem, why are you the one getting dumped? Bitch I’m fucking perfect!!!! 😛 😛 😛
But with Damii, it was just different. I told her everything. How I felt about her, and the long distance and everything. And then I told her about Blah. I didn’t tell her I fucked her, obviously. I just told her something happened.
Her head fell on my shoulders. And then, it felt like the old times. Two years ago, when I, Damii, Ibrahim & Derin would chill at Ibrahim’s place, and Damii would always rest her head so softly on my chest. I’ll not be feeling like one wizkid :$ :$ :$ I wish we could rewind time and go back to then. I swear we didn’t know what we had, it was bliss.
I felt tears on my chest, and I just knew they were Damii’s. I held her to myself, tightly. And then, I let her go.
I wasn’t in the mood for anything but slept when I got back home. I just wanted to be alone. I was lying down and I heard Jesse and Iffy shouting, fighting probably. Common sense told me not to go but I’m not used to listening to that thing.
When Jesse & Iffy saw me, they stopped fighting. They just stopped. Like I was one adult they owed that respect to, like I was Mummy.
‘You should be resting,’ Iffy said.
‘I can’t,’ I said, ‘two mumu’s are there fighting, shouting in my eardrum :|’
‘Nathan.’ Jesse said.
I looked at him, deep into his eyes. And then I looked at Iffy. The moment was weird, like dizziness. Normally when I look at my brothers, I feel like I’m looking into a mirror. Not just because we’re triplets & we look alike and all, but cause we have this bond. I can’t explain. But now, I was looking at Jesse, and at Iffy. And I just felt nothing; like we were strangers.
Something in me wanted to see Yasmine. I went to her house to talk to her, but instead I saw T.Y.
‘Nathan!’ she said, hugging me suddenly ‘you’re back.’ The warmth of her hug surprised me.
‘Yeah,’ I said, hugging her back, ‘Is Yasmine home?’
She shook her head. ‘Do you know Django Abrams?’ She asked me.
I nodded. It was a weird question to ask buh yeah, who doesn’t know Django? The blind guy that paints. There was shaa a lot of hype about him recently.
‘There’s an exhibition of his paintings at Art Centre now.’ T.Y said, ‘we should go.’
‘Oh! Ok.’ The randomness of everything shocked me into saying yes.
The Art Centre was weird. Everybody was walking from painting, going “ooh” and “aah” like the guy was sublime. Me, I was just there with T.Y looking at the lines of color like a mumu. It was all them abstract paintings the Django guy painted. I never understood how artists get millions for painting stuff I could do when I’m drunk. :ss
T.Y stood in front of one of the paintings. It was a mix of colors, at the centre was a bright, beautiful purple. Then it seemed to divide itself into three streaks of red, yellow & blue. The red, yellow & blue looked dull but the purple they formed at the centre was brilliant :”) it was titled “FAMILY”.
‘It took me so long to get this,’ T.Y said, ‘the painting.’
‘Family is so strong and beautiful like the purple, when all the colors are mixed together,’ she said, ‘but when it’s divided, it turns weak. Like the 3 colors, so sad.’
I paused. I saw what she was trying to do here, ‘Point?’ I said.
‘What is the point, really,’ she said, ‘of anything?’
I looked at the painting again. The purple was so bright.
‘What was the point of sending me the 50 shades trilogy?’
‘You didn’t like it ): ’
‘I do. It was just funny,’ I said, ‘because you are like the female Christian Grey.’
‘LMFAOOOOOO! Me?’ Her eyes widened. ‘You haven’t noticed. Yasmine is the Christian Grey actually.’
Yasmine was at her house when I got back. She was outside in her garden, lying on the grass, sprawled like an angel; Topless; Earphones plugged; Sun kissed.
I rushed to her. ‘Are you fucking high?! You’re half-naked & you’re outside’. Her nipples were upright, darker than the rest of her skin.
She sat up and looked at me. The wind was in her hair. ‘I just want to die. Please let me die.’ Her voice was laced with tears, but her eyes were clear.
I sat down on the grass too and held her closely to me. ‘It’s okay,’ I said, clasping her hair, ‘It happens when you listen to Iffy’s music. It makes you suicidal.’
Yasmine laughed. Her laughter was pure & high & pretty.
‘I broke up with Damii. I was tired of deceiving myself.’ I looked away from her as I said this.
‘I’m so sorry.’ She said.
‘I spoilt your summer, your family, your life.’
It hit me at that moment that there was no reason to hate Yasmine. My family, my life; they had always been spoilt. Yasmine just opened our eyes to everything.
‘Can you remember that time you asked me about my mum, about how her death affected me?’
‘I didn’t know how to answer then. But her death changed me mehnn. It made me see some things are just not important.’
We lay there on the grass together, looking at the sun. There was no sound except the wind and the rustling of leaves.
‘I love you.’ Yasmine said, looking at me. ‘I will always follow you Nathan.’
‘And mention for your follow back ;)’ I said. She laughed again.
Yasmine fell asleep there in the grass, in my arms. I carried her to her bed and I went home.
Iffy & Jesse were going to school the next day. Iffy was driving there. But Jesse was taking a plane, because his school is very far. But they were both leaving on the same day.
‘Safe mehnn’ I said, to both of them. They were packed and ready to go. Iffy was dropping Jesse at the airport.
The three of us stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to say to each other. I felt empty.
I pulled them together in a group hug. And for a moment, we were brothers again. For only that moment though.
‘I’ll call you guys when I land,’ Jesse said.
‘Yeah, Nathan, I’ll call you when I’m in school.’ Iffy said.
They never called. I think that was the last time we ever really spoke. As brothers
Later, I would come to realize what Yasmine meant by “Next week is the deadline”.
I would go to her house the next week and it would be empty, a “FOR SALE” sign limping outside it.
I would wait and wait and never see her.
Later, Blah would explain that Yasmine and her parents had move back to her step mom’s country.
I would remember my last moments with Yasmine, lying with her in the grass, and realize all that time she was saying goodbye without really saying goodbye.
And I would sit and wonder, how one’s life could change and evolve so much in just one summer and how one person could make you see things that had always been there, that you never noticed.
But for now, I mixed Vodka and Ribena, sipping slowly, as I sat alone in a big, empty house, awaiting death.
First published September 8 2012
Culled from the blog sadgirlsays.WordPress.com
Run by Imade Iyamu
Edited by Faith Tells.
See https://sadgirlsays.wordpress.com/the-girl-next-door/ for the original.
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