2015 Law Dinner Review By A Cornel Hater

Looking at the title, one would expect me to immediately launch into viliying remarks about the 2015 law dinner and its main organiser Cornel Gabriel. And it would indeed be in keeping with the title for that is what haters do when they review events organised by those they ‘hate’ on. However this will be done a bit differently from how you expect.

So instead of a hateful and scathing review of the dinner, what I will give you is a frank, candid and honest analyses of the dinner that is totally devoid of any favouring bias whatsoever. As it will be understandable why I will have none being a hater. The dinner was widely criticised both in the before and after. Before, it was hailed as being impossible to pull off, likely to flop, too big a project, unnecessary, and exorbitant. After the dinner, a hundred flaws were identified and nitpicking went on to no small end. Well what do I a hater have to say about this? Did the ‘hated’ do as badly as we hoped?

I am sorry to disappoint me and all my fellow haters but it did turn out to be a fine ass dinner. Pardon my saying so. Let us look at the points that arose against it before the dinner. We heard things like too expensive, unnecessary, too big, other priorities. Since when did ambition become a sin? When realising it is not being gone about in an improper manner? And do we really have other priorities? When law students are mentioned, what first comes to mind? Humble people? Caring, humanitarian? No. For we are not doctors. The first things that come to mind is grace, style, panache, class. We are a vain people who put great stock in decorum and appearance. To say otherwise would be to lie blatantly. Being this kind of people, I see no reason why we should not have the grandest, the biggest, and the classiest dinner that can be conceived. And this is all our hated president sought to furnish us.

I will not say whether the hate on our erstwhile president is justified or deserved. But I will point out that this is a law dinner review and not a Cornel review and my fellow intelligent haters should be able to separate a man from a deed and judge objectively. Having this ability will doubtless come in handy in their legal or other field they decide to go into. In the end, we had a fantastic dinner. A prestigious dinner that did much to up the standard of law students the institution over. A rep we all collectively benefit from. So enjoy the glory and crucify the bringer? For shame fellows. I beat my chest.

But let us talk about the actual dinner. It was held in Eko Hotel and Suites, the most preferred hotel this side of the continent. Something that should be beyond the reach of students and lie in the realm of impossibility. There were buses to bear those who were ready to take advantage of this humble service. The bigger boys and girls and most of the older wigs went in Uber cabs and private cars though. We would eventually arrive to an evening of excitement and fanfare. Highlighted by joyful eating and drinking and entertainment.

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The food was fab. No doubt about that. The peak of the dinner I would say was a wonderfully exciting performance by Banky W no less, an A-list performer that would cost us thousands and take millions to see. To crown it all, we had a sitting governor come in to address us in person. Is our vainglory and pride as law students not bursting at the seams? I know they certainly were as we came back to myriads of pictures being uploaded on Instagram and various other social networks. If you were to log on to instagram now and search the hashtag lawdinner2015 you would see solid evidence of law students enjoying themselves excessively.

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Did it end there? Nah. The fabulous dinner was further eclipsed by a not at all unexciting after party that was by all accounts fun. Finally one would think we would end it there. And leave it at that. But no. That would be far too easy. Like the obstinate children of Israel, we came home to murmur and castigate the dinner that had been a source of so much merrymaking and happiness. We began to hear all sorts of reasons why it was not good. This was bad, that was bad and that was bad. So no it wasn’t a good dinner.

That my dear fellow haters is totally laughable and an absolute load of bull crap. Oh a lot of things were said. Some even valid. But none of these enough to make it a less than excellent dinner. Did a girl with very poor oratory skills come forward to read the governor’s citation? Yes. Were the fonts on the projector too small to be legible? Certainly. They say there were no tables upstairs. This may have been true, but the floor was adequately decorated. And food plentiful there. Perhaps those who came by 10 for an event that was written to start at 6 didn’t get the choice seats. Surely you can see why, being 4 hours late and arriving at a time when the event should have been winding down. The food was said to have finished? I don’t know about this. I do know I saw people carting away bottles and bottles of beer to take to the after party. I did cart some away myself to be honest. If food did finish, I’m sure it was no less than an hour to the end of the event. Fie for those who expected food from beginning to the end of the event. It’s a dinner. Not a gorge fest. And to be frank some of us did gorge ourselves. Our scales will attest to this.

There were no end to the things said in an effort to discredit the dinner. I even heard that the floor was not swept. Really. Eko Hotel floor, Iris and Jasmine hall was not swept. I laughed in elvish when I heard that one.

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That is the floor. See any heaps of sand anywhere? Maybe the sand was too small to be in heaps. How then the complainers could have noticed it when they were wearing shoes I have not the faintest idea. Or did anyone see any people without shoes at the law dinner? I would have noticed.

They say the tickets were expensive too. At three thousand naira. Three thousand naira for an all you can eat buffet at Eko Hotel, with top tier performance by an A-list artist and record label head and appearance by a state governor. You know, three thousand wouldn’t even get you into coke studio to see Yemi Alade perform. Five thousand might. But you would stand, on the bare grass. And not have chairs not to talk of upstairs and tables.

If you were to attempt to get food with three thousand you know what three thousand would get you? Nowhere near the Island. Out of school yes. But u would not cross Unilag junction. A quick right would have taken you to Abule oja, straight down to 047 and a quick plate, no more than one, of catfish peppersoup and two bottles of beer. Instead you got the chance to show off your fancy suits and dresses, ooh and aah to Banky’s ‘high notes.’ And come back to adorn your ig handles with the tale of the beautiful night. A bargain to be honest. Did I mentioned the event was covered by S.TV? There.

For those not yet in the school and thus unaware? The last time a dinner this close in magnitude was organised waa about 5 years ago. During the faculty’s 50th anniversary which coincided with our law dinner. It was a joint dinner organised by the faculty of Law and the University of Lagos itself. While it was organised in the same place, there were no performances. We can discount Chuddy K coming at the end of the event when everyone had left. There was no state governor or dignitary of that level there. That one was organised by the school which possesses a bank account of gigantic proportions. Now a student. A mere faculty president dared to take them on and not just take them on but do something even grander. Even if you hated the guy and were blind to anything good you can see that he has done just that.

Unswept floors, if those are possible, bad citation, any other minor hitch you can think up do not detract from its awesomeness. The points that make for a good dinner, good food, fine drinks, important dignitaries, awesome entertainment, all these we had aplenty and all else is dust and stardust. All they serve to prove is the already widely known point that perfection is unattainable. Inspite of this success still is achievable. Despite perfection’s unattainability. And I do say even from a hater’s standpoint that it was achieved here. I personally do not like the fellow involved, I have a lot of things against him yet. This should drive home the fact the the success of the law dinner is not even open to debate or discussion. Unless you are something beyond even a hater and devoid of all honesty or reason.

In comparison to last year’s law dinner though, I will say the anticipation for this one was a bit suppressed. Who knows if it’s because of the unpopular nature of our infamous organiser and president. Perhaps. The anticipation for the last law dinner was definitely higher. Maybe it’s because it had been pending for two years. Also the preparations for the last one was definitely higher. While the last was a smaller event, the attendees definitely pulled out their big guns and came in dressed to kill. The outfits and attires were somewhat more mellow here.  Not to say they weren’t good. No matter. Perhaps you should judge yourself…

I wonder what this new administration has in store for us. The bar has been set so high. Are we going to be drinking in the sky? We do have our fingers crossed. Perhaps it should look to help from the members of the last law dinner committee and the former social secretary Jide Williams who managed to pull of the impossible and organise the grandest law dinner in lss history.   They definitely did an outstanding job. That said, my final ratings for the dinner has it as a first class dinner. I will post how I arrived at it below. Feel free to drop yours and contradict. It’s a free world afteral. Even for a hater.

Food: 4.7
Entertainment: 5
Organisation: 3.8
Final Ratings: 4.5

The LLB Trend

A few days ago, the hashtag ‘MyLLbStory’ was trending,

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due to having been repeatedly tweeted by law students by and large over the nation. The larger portion of them though were from Unilag Law Class of 16. Don’t ask me how I know this. Its classified information from my intelligence network. Oops!! I already told you. Oh well. So these were some of the most popular tweets retweeted. Feel free to check them out.
Oh and I heard one tweet about doctor Oni had him tagged on Facebook. Ghen Ghen!! Law students are impertinent. May he handle the trust we have placed in him with equity. Amin 🙏

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When ur dad asks for the constitutional provision to solve Kogi election case #myLLBstory https://t.co/otkdxpjQao
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@Oseholic: My reaction when my Dad told me I should try to graduate with a first class. #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/Oseholic/status/668895260140036096/photo/1
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@TheVandal__: When you're enjoying your holiday and you remember that you didn't answer a whole question in an exam #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/TheVandal__/status/668881844805476353/photo/1
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@ArtpopHoe_: When Dr. Oni says your Land Law exam questions is not plenty and he counts & flips 3 full pages. #myLLBstory. http://twitter.com/ArtpopHoe_/status/668863370544685056/photo/1
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@iamrilwan: When the exact same past question you practiced comes out in the exam. #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/iamrilwan/status/668867163898437632/photo/1
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@Menaaa_A: Law students a day before law dinner #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/Menaaa_A/status/668904941063380992/photo/1
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@IamDennis__: #myLLBstory when you see the exam questions and you know just exactly 4 out of the 6 perfectly http://twitter.com/IamDennis__/status/668882609020272640/photo/1
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@Dotbabe: When exam time table is out & u've Jurisprudence, Company Law and International Law all on the same day #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/Dotbabe/status/668921840283308032/photo/1
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@pexxie: When d lecturer told u all to read some topic area & then "She" sets questions from another Anguu #myLLBstory #Abuad http://twitter.com/pexxie/status/668915319566680064/photo/1
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@Dominik_l: when you come invigorated for intense and articulated overnight reading but ..... #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/Dominik_l/status/668912668988805120/photo/1

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@jones_ayuwo: Your CGPA after torts, land law and equity have voiced their opinions

#myLLBstory http://twitter.com/jones_ayuwo/status/668866414397235205/photo/1

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@folu_fabulous: After doing overnight for a test dat was eventually cancelled & Mrs Ogbometu takes over instead. #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/folu_fabulous/status/669288400504123393/photo/1
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@Hilsneurone: #myLLBstory my face when a lecturer asks the class 'ITK' to sit down and that his answer is an absolute rubbish http://twitter.com/Hilsneurone/status/668885726088601600/photo/1
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@J_O_C_UNILAG: When Boye reminds Dr. Akintayo of the supposed "test"
Me: You must be a mad man. #MyLLBstory http://twitter.com/J_O_C_UNILAG/status/669080525408239616/photo/1
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@FacialDisorder: When the group leader takes credit for work he did not do. #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/FacialDisorder/status/668916765460688897/photo/1
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@nwachukwuobi: Waiting patiently outside Mr. Folarin's office for results like #myllbstory http://twitter.com/nwachukwuobi/status/668916844007419905/photo/1
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@lay_lo: When you ask for AOC and you hear "sorry about that" #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/lay_lo/status/668865462869106688/photo/1
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@FacialDisorder: What @_Tobolos_ & @Pryce_Williams think they look like vs how they look during lssgames. #myLLBstory http://twitter.com/FacialDisorder/status/668922742104829952/photo/1

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So that’s it. We will end on that note.
P.s: Don’t forget to pray for Bafewa.

Exco Expo: ‘Bangy’

Exco Expo is a way of bringing our excos to the light and out of the shadows people in authority are usually shrouded in. Although figures of responsibility, they are men and women like me and you. (I’m a man. Don’t know if you’re a woman) Exco Expo is both a way of bringing them closer to you, and providing info on their persons so we can bridge the gap and they may better serve you.

So Today’s exposé is on our very own JK Eso Hoc, Abang popularly known as ‘Bangy.’ A suspicious nickname if you ask me. So Abang is here with us and we’ll be asking him a few questions…’relax. No be law exam.’ As I was saying, and he’ll be providing an expo into his awesome exconess. So ‘Bangy,’ what can you tell us about yourself. Fill us in. No that sounded wrong. 😂 I meant enlighten us.

Bangy: My name is Victory Abang okon Efreti, Son of God, Kings college old boy (floreat), optimist.

Me: That’s a lot of names. And son of God? Are you claiming to be Jesus? I think he just means he’s religious.

Bangy: we all are.

Me: Oshey. I’ve been adopted. Native name?

Bangy: I don’t want to state that *laughs*

Me: Mmm. Okay o. Remember BiBle said those that deny their native names shall be denied on the last day.

Bangy: *laughs* That’s not in the bible.

Me: Wow. He knows every verse in the bible. Can you tell us more about yourself?

Bangy: I was born June 26, I’m from AKWA IBOM state and I love to work out.

Me: Ahaaa. That explains the good looks.

Bangy: What good looks?

Me: *sigh* He pretends not to be aware. Me I’m aware of my own sha.

Me: So how did you come by the nickname Bangy?

Bangy: *laughing* good question. And I’m happy I finally got a chance to trash this out, there is nothing bad about the name, it’s just a nickname coined from my  surname, just remove the “a”  and add a “y”  and you have bangy. see?

Me: Cool. So what position did you formerly and currently occupy in the Justice Kayode ESO Students Chamber?

Bangy: I was the immediate past director of Programmes of JK Eso Chamber. And I’m currently the Head of Chambers. (HOC)

Me: Mmmm. That’s a big post. Hope you won’t let all that power get to your head.

Bangy: *Laughs.* I’ll leave it on my neck

Me: What goals do you have in the short term?

Bangy: Well my short term goals are to make Justice Kayode Eso Student Chamber the greatest, and also to graduate with a 2.1 cumulative grade point average or above.

Me: Ahhh. I see you’re not part of the large number of law students aiming for first class.

Long term goals? Should you be fortunate and live past 30?

Bangy: By the grace of God I will. I hope to be the owner of one of the biggest law firms in my time.

Me: so much ‘by the grace of God.’ so what’s your religious stand sef?

Bangy: I’m a Christian, but I’m not like most who base their friendship on religion. I can never be biased based on religion.

Me: So you can marry a juju worshipper then?

Bangy: Hell Nooo.

Me: *whispers to juju worshipper friend* I think he meant that…literally.

Speaking of marriage what can you say about that.

Bangy: Well, I do intend to get married at a very young age and I love a relationship where both partners are faithful till death do them part.

Me: Awwww. Well I wouldn’t know anything about this having myself vowed to be a promiscuous playboy till death.

Me: I take it there’s a serious love interest then.

Bangy: Definitely.

Me: Anything else you can tell us about yourself?

Bangy: I love singing and playing my guitar.

Me: I’ve definitely seen you lugging a moderate priced looking guitar around. Don’t know if you can play it though.

Bangy: I can.

Me: hmmm. Sing for us?

Bangy: Naaa

Me: Anything else you can tell us?

Bangy: I’m very friendly and outspoken. I love writing songs and poems when inspired and I see myself as a human rights activist.

Me: Mmm. That’s Diverse. What we expect from a Hoc.

So what’s your view of the Lss? And We hear you have aspirations someday to be president of the Lss. Any truth to these rumours?

Bangy: I think the resurgence team has all it takes to move the faculty to the next level and Eso Chambers is more than ready to assist in that.
Becoming the LSS president will be a very great honor. Let’s just watch and see if the rumors are true.

Me: Mmmm. What can you say about Eso’s last administration of which u were a part?

Bangy: I really enjoyed working with the excos in the past administration, apart from the benefits of being one of the only two men in the team I really learnt a lot. Kudos to jumai our ulsu pro.

What’s your view of the current excos team?

Bangy: Wow. I think the best of the best were hand picked by God and sent to me to lead, everyday I’m overwhelmed by their enthusiasm and I get nothing short of my expectations. The faculty will shake when this team delivers.

Me: Hmmm. Awesome. What is your Plan for and Advice to fresher’s and Diplomites?

Bangy: You are welcome to the faculty, we have a lot of plans for you guys which will be unveiled slowly. There’s a lot to do and learn from in the faculty of law. Don’t be idle, stay focused.

Me: Lastly, can we share some of your pics here?

Bangy: sure

Me: wait. One more. The very last question. What do you think of the interviewer?

Bangy: I think he should be shot.

Me: 😮

Bangy: just kidding. He’s a good guy.

Me: And here I thought you didn’t have a sense of humour.

And that’s it guys. Its a wrap. If I ever do get shot these are the pictures of who did it:

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Him and two other gunmen?
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Why so serious?
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That's better
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Fingering the keys. I dont mean nothing by that 😒
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The threesome. ☺
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What's so funny anyway? Mtchwww
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When you think the ball is g.p and the net is 2.1
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That camera isnt the best...
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Mmmm. *clears throat* dazz a fine geh.
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Reminds me of Dan Brown. Angels and Demons
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His brother is even finer sef.

Instagram: _victorious._
Twitter: @dorien_gray_

Interview by PenPrince